Gotham City had seen its fair share of villains—Joker, Riddler, Penguin—but nothing prepared it for the arrival of The Tangerine Tyrant. With a golden skyscraper that doubled as his lair, a suspiciously orange glow, and an army of devoted, red-hat-wearing minions who Fcalled themselves the MAGA Marauders, he was unlike any enemy Batman had faced before.
At his side stood Lex Elon, a billionaire tech mogul whose ideas about space colonization conveniently ignored Earth’s growing problems. Together, they hatched a nefarious scheme: to privatize Gotham City entirely. Their master plan? Transform Gotham into "Trumplandia: The Best, Classiest, Most Exclusive City Ever," where the ultra-rich would live tax-free while the poor were charged for breathing.
Their third accomplice, The Couch Crusader (JD Vance), served as their propagandist, making the rounds on every villain-friendly news network, peddling stories about how crime wasn’t actually that bad (despite the fact that he lived in a gated lair miles away from Gotham’s real issues). His only superpower? Fornicating with his late Moms Hillbilly Couch and moral flexibility.
But the true mastermind lurked in the shadows: Dr. Evil (Vladimir Putin). While the others schemed, he played chess, pulling strings from his Siberian lair, occasionally poisoning people and riding shirtless on bears to intimidate world leaders.
Enter the Bat
Bruce Wayne, as usual, was brooding. Alfred, ever the voice of reason, slid a newspaper across the Batcave's sleek table.
"Master Wayne, it appears Gotham is under siege. Again. But this time, it's… embarrassingly stupid."
Bruce frowned. "Trumplandia? A city where citizens have to pay an ‘America First’ toll just to leave their homes?"
"I’m afraid it gets worse, sir. Lex Elon has been testing ‘free speech flamethrowers’ to ensure no one criticizes them. And The Couch Crusader is live-streaming a three-hour monologue about how none of this is actually happening."
Batman clenched his jaw. "And Dr. Evil?"
Alfred sighed. "He's funding all of it while pretending he’s uninvolved. Also, he just annexed half of Blüdhaven."
The Showdown
Batman leapt from the Batplane, landing outside Trump Tower—er, Tangerine Tyrant HQ—where a gaudy gold sign now read "You’re Welcome."
"Who is this guy?" the Tyrant sneered as Batman entered. "I like my heroes rich and compliant, okay? And this guy—he’s a real downer. Total disaster. The worst."
Lex Elon snickered, adjusting his robotic exosuit. "Yeah, and unlike me, he doesn’t even own a social media company."
Batman ignored them and turned to Dr. Evil. "Putin."
Dr. Evil simply smirked and took a sip of vodka. "Batman."
Suddenly, the room went dark. A deafening BANG echoed as a smoke bomb filled the chamber. When the smoke cleared, Batman had disappeared.
"Hey! Where’d he go?" The Tangerine Tyrant flailed his tiny fists. "This is rigged! Fake hero! FAKE!"
Then, from the shadows, came the Bat Signal—but instead of a bat, it projected the words ‘YOU’RE UNDER ARREST’ over Gotham’s skyline. The sound of police sirens filled the air.
The Tangerine Tyrant tried to run, but his oversized suit got stuck in the revolving door. Lex Elon attempted an escape in his SpaceX jet, but Batman hacked it mid-flight, sending him back to Earth with a parachute reading, "I ♥ Taxes."
The Couch Crusader was found hiding under a blanket, claiming he was "just asking questions." Dr. Evil, however, had mysteriously vanished, leaving only an empty vodka bottle and a note that read: "See you in the next election."
The Aftermath
As Gotham cheered, Alfred poured Bruce a well-earned drink.
"So, Master Wayne, was it worth it?"
Batman sighed, watching the bat-shaped signal fade into the night. "Yes, Alfred. But we’ll have to stay vigilant.
There’s always another clown waiting to take over Gotham."
In the distance, an ominous shadow loomed—a Florida governor, adjusting his white boots, whispering to himself,
"Maybe… maybe it’s my turn."
To Be Continued…
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