April 1, 2026
EMDR, a Whale Named Timmy, and Why I Refuse to “Get Better Properly”
I started EMDR therapy to deal with childhood trauma. Instead, I ended up reliving the moment my dog died. While therapists aim to reduce…
Read the story →Life · Satire · Side-eyeBy Dani Lemonade
The Latest Dispatches
February 17, 2026
Nothing To See Here. Just 1.5 Million Mentions.
Trump publicly denied connections to Jeffrey Epstein while New Mexico approved a comprehensive probe into Epstein’s Zorro Ranch. As calls for public hearings grow…
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February 16, 2026
🇺🇸🇨🇦 The Bridge Tantrum
Trump’s latest tirade targets Canada, the Gordie Howe International Bridge, and somehow the Stanley Cup. In a 296-word meltdown, he demands “half” of a…
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February 12, 2026
When the Heat Fades: Nesting Rituals of the Modern House Hound
Hazel is on the final stretch of her heat cycle and has now entered full false pregnancy mode: hoarding food, building elaborate nests for…
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February 11, 2026
The Reintegration Plan – Corporate Reintegration – a Zesty Sitcom- Episode 1
A satirical look at returning to work after illness, navigating AI job filters, and facing a fast-paced corporate world while still healing.
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February 11, 2026
The Goat Pageant Problem
What happens when power protects power and the truth gets buried under layers of redaction? In this satirical take on secrecy and accountability, the…
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February 11, 2026
The Ghost of Fathers Past (Now With Medical Updates)
When my estranged father resurfaced with lung cancer, a stroke, and a wheelchair, I chose to be the bigger person. But illness doesn’t erase…
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February 10, 2026
Procrastinating: A Masterclass I Never Signed Up For
Between chronic fatigue, breast cancer recovery, and hormone chaos, procrastination has become an art form. This satirical essay explores why starting feels impossible, why…
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February 9, 2026
The Invisible Bouncer: Job Hunting Over 50
job hunting over 50. Trying to find a job over 50 means being too old, too experienced, too expensive, or simply invisible. A cynical…
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February 9, 2026
The Great Dog in Heat Apocalypse: A Household Falls
Panties, Paranoia, and a Washing Machine on Strike. Hazel is in heat. Which means she’s wearing the doggy equivalent of Depends and acting like…
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