The Latest Dispatches

February 9, 2026

The Great Dog in Heat Apocalypse: A Household Falls

Panties, Paranoia, and a Washing Machine on Strike. Hazel is in heat. Which means she’s wearing the doggy equivalent of Depends and acting like…

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February 9, 2026

I Came Here to Write About Dogs. Now I’m Monitoring a Man’s Cognitive Decline.

A cynical, exhausted take on Trump burnout, political fatigue, and why staying loud still matters even when you’re tired, not American, and just wanted…

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February 9, 2026

The Super Bowl Halftime Show: Or, How to Annoy One Man From Florida in 13 Minutes

A satirical take on the Super Bowl halftime show, Bad Bunny’s chaotic charm, cultural panic, and why one Florida man probably lost his mind.

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January 23, 2026

“The Greenland Deal: Trump Declares Victory Over Reality”

Trump’s Greenland deal is just a taxi ride he was already allowed to take. Tantrum first, victory lap later. Nothing changed.

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January 23, 2026

“America: Season 249, Episode 7: The Coat, The Canister, The Cringe.”

Gregory Bovino didn’t just bring chemical agents to a protest. He brought a costume, a posture, and an entire authoritarian aesthetic playbook. From SS-adjacent…

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January 22, 2026

Justice League, But Make It Evil [extended cut]

Trump’s new “Board of Peace” looks less like diplomacy and more like a Justice League reboot starring the world’s most controversial power players. As…

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January 22, 2026

Extreme Home Makeover: Mouth Edition

A dog-related dental disaster leads to bone grafts, implants, braces and temporary teeth in this darkly funny dental reconstruction saga.

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January 21, 2026

Gynecology Appointment: Take 2

Yesterday’s gynecology appointment turned into a high-definition sci-fi horror comedy. Flooding, snipping, biopsies, and a live feed of my own internal organs on a…

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January 21, 2026

Davos 2026: The Rambling Threat to World Order, Live on Stage

Trump’s Davos speech collapsed into lies, racism, and threats. Allies were insulted, countries misnamed, facts ignored, and the room responded with silence.

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January 9, 2026

Officials Confirm: You Didn’t See What You Saw. Noem and Vance Rewrite Reality.

Officials claim the ICE shooting video is “misleading,” deflect with protest optics, and float banning filming agents. Satire on power, lies, and visibility.

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