Your CV Is Fine. Unfortunately, I Sell CV Rewrites.

1 view · Counting since 7 Oct 2026

Career advice from Tiffany Hustleworth. Confidence. Without credentials.

Hi, unemployed besties.

Tiffany Hustleworth here—award-adjacent career visionary, résumé whisperer and founder of Hustleworth Human Potential Solutions Worldwide™.

I’ve reviewed your CV, and unfortunately, you have a serious problem.

It’s perfectly adequate.

Clear experience. Relevant skills. Actual achievements. Under normal circumstances, you could send it to an employer and expect someone to read it.

But I have a ring light to finance.

Let’s unpack why your professional identity needs €799 worth of emergency adjectives.

1. You “managed” a team. How embarrassing.

“Managed a team of twelve.”

Babe. That sounds like you went to work and did your job.

Try:

“Orchestrated a twelve-human ecosystem of excellence across a dynamically evolving stakeholder landscape.”

Same twelve people. Same spreadsheet. Now nobody knows what you did.

That’s executive presence.

2. Your achievements are measurable. Very limiting.

“Increased customer satisfaction by 18%.”

Lovely. But where’s the emotional journey? Where’s the disruption? Where’s the proprietary framework I can pretend to have invented?

“Catalysed an 18% elevation in customer delight through intentional experience leadership.”

See? We’ve taken something useful and made it slightly exhausting.

Hiring managers love that. I assume. I’ve never met one.

3. Your CV reveals your age.

You’ve removed your school dates because apparently graduating before Wi-Fi makes you a museum exhibit.

Unfortunately, removing dates can also look suspicious.

Including them looks old.

Removing them looks fake.

This is what we in the industry call a monetisation opportunity.

My exclusive Chronological Abundance Audit helps you appear experienced enough to run a department, yet young enough to accept “exposure” as compensation.

We achieve this by changing the font.

Introducing: The Hustleworth Employability Ascension™

For just €799, I will:

• Replace ordinary verbs with verbs wearing shoulder pads.
• Move your skills section somewhere else.
• Send you a PDF called “Your Next Chapter.”
• Explain that any continued unemployment reflects your resistance to abundance.

Interviews are not included. Neither is contact with employers. I primarily work with Canva and your remaining optimism.

Still sceptical? Listen to this completely invented testimonial:

“Before Tiffany, I was unemployed with €799. Now I’m unemployed with a personal brand.”
— Vanessa, Senior Director of Exploring Opportunities

Powerful.

Remember, besties: rejection is redirection. Ghosting is the universe protecting you. A recruiter ignoring six follow-ups is simply creating space for your highest self.

Please don’t create space in my payment schedule.

And if my rewritten CV still doesn’t get you hired?

The market has shifted. You’ll need the premium package.

Results may vary. Tiffany has never worked in recruitment, hired an employee or successfully opened an Excel spreadsheet. All sales are spiritually final.